I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
