We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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