i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
