Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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