OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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