and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Randomize
