i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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