I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
