who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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