i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize