Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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