My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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