i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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