Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
