Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
