Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
cat food counts as protein by the way
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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