My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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