Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
