New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
