I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
