I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
