This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
