I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
