Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
