sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
