Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Randomize
