if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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