her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
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