4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
