she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Randomize
