i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
