Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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