And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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