I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
