Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bondingš
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Heās older
Like āhas a job and pays his billsā older or āstill watches porn on DVD because he canāt figure out the Internetā older?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
