oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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