Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
