I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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