Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize
