# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
