Taylor Swift is so right about you.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
