He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
