Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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