Nicole vs. Life
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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