dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
