IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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