worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
