you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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