So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
