you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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