Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
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