He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
