Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Randomize
