That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
