sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
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