I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
